You Know “Flowing all this, what is actually going on when we believe reality is weird? After all”

6 min readNov 28, 2020

There’s no anxiety about whether the relationship is going to last or not. It’s never an on and off thing. And you never feel that it’s complicated or uncertain. Instead, there’s a mutual sense of decisiveness, commitment and security.

You may be thinking — wait, you said we eliminate the need for a Lambda, but now you have one doing the post-processing. True! But you may or may not need that step, AND, the key here is that you are avoiding doing potentially time consuming processing during the API call (thus creating a slow/long response time for your API). Furthermore, with the streams API, you can fetch up to 1000 records for a single Lambda invocation (vs the limit of 25 on the incoming/batch write aspect). Therefore, you potentially could have 40x fewer Lambda invocations (if you can process all 1000 records in the 15 minute Lambda time limit). That said, the real key here for me was not doing the heavy processing we do during the API call, keeping the API itself very fast and having the fewest possible error scenarios.

Be it health issues, financial trouble or otherwise stressful times, the relationship has seen its fair share of it. And instead of falling to pieces, the connection between you and your partner was proven to be solid.

To be more precise, you’re not only capable, but you’re both also oriented to solving them. Nothing usually needs to be swallowed and after you finish your discussions, both sides feel heard and understood.This is why the Church imprisoned Galileo for believing that the Earth revolved around the Sun. Or why surgeons refused to listen to Joseph Lister when he called for the usage of antiseptics. The people on the wrong side of history couldn’t fathom a reality as strange as the one that these minds were proposing.My parents have done it. I’ve done it. And virtually everyone who isn’t a Jedi is going to do it. Simply because it normally takes time to figure out what really matters in relationship, or how it’s supposed to be.

You don’t doubt the whereabouts, motives, actions or answers of your partner. As a matter of fact, there isn’t even an urge to ask questions like “Where have you been?” or “Who were you talking to?”

None of the quirks of the other becomes too annoying and both of you can be your authentic selves. You can play the guitar in your underwear, drink juice directly from the carton or do a nude workout in the living room. And it’s ok.

No relationship is 100% perfect. And being too demanding is not only naive, but can also leave one to spend their old age alone. I’ve got an immediate family member who’s past 70 now, and she’s still looking for Mr. Right.

This haste to discover solutions is the root of misplaced certainty. And when you mix this with an unwillingness to change your proposed solutions, you develop a hardened expectation of what reality should be.
When we try to make sense of reality this way, we have an immediate need to find solutions. Whenever we discover a blind spot in our thinking, we want to fill it in as soon as possible. This makes us quick to frame reality in a “sensible” way so we’re no longer confused with what we’ve found.
You both have your own social circle to spend time with, but somehow, the company of each other just seems better. Thus you might often find yourself politely rejecting the propositions of your friends so that you could, instead, spend time with your partner.

A lot of our worlds have been turned upside down during the pandemic and many of us are uncertain about what to do next. I’m not suggesting a life coach is your answer — it could be traditional therapy, more time for self-care, or something else. If you’re lucky enough to have the time and means to seek professional help, it can be incredibly helpful to have someone in your corner when our collective ennui feels like too much.

It left a certain imprint in your memories. You both feel a strong sense of gratitude for sticking around. And there’s also a feeling of camaraderie that gives you additional vigor to tackle any upcoming challenges.

Finding an empty tube where the roll of toilet paper was can, perhaps, make you frown a bit, but that doesn’t really piss you off significantly. Because you remember that, sometimes, you tend to be a little lazy too.
I’m not talking about taking your partner for granted. But what I mean is that you somehow, effortlessly, manage to coexist without ever getting into each other’s way. The manners in which you deal with your daily proceedings in a limited space just flow symbiotically.
A lot of our worlds have been turned upside down during the pandemic and many of us are uncertain about what to do next. I’m not suggesting a life coach is your answer — it could be traditional therapy, more time for self-care, or something else. If you’re lucky enough to have the time and means to seek professional help, it can be incredibly helpful to have someone in your corner when our collective ennui feels like too much.

I’m not urging anyone to make a rushed decision to leave their partner. But what I do recommend is looking at your current relationship through the lens of the above-mentioned points.

The epiphanies that used to come to me once a year now come on a regular basis, returning to a place of inspiration more easily and often. If I feel anxious or blocked, I know I can meditate to get to that place. I know I’ve reached a good decision, big or small, if I can suddenly breathe clearly and deeply. Journaling after a good meditation has helped me make many decisions.

There’s a general sense of emotional comfort. You can feel secure and openly talk about anything, your deepest fears included. You never have to worry about those things being weaponized by your partner at a later stage.You can book plane tickets a month or a year in advance, or accidentally have a baby. It doesn’t matter. Because you know that you wouldn’t be flying alone, and neither would you be a single parent.And no, I’m not talking about the infatuation phase. Instead, I’m referring to not getting fed up with each other in the long run. What I mean is having something to talk about even as the years pass, or something to do, and always looking forward to it.
Conflicts don’t happen often. In the rare occasion that they do take place, their magnitude is small and you’re capable of solving them in a civilized manner. Without any lasting emotional scars.
The post-processing we do takes longer and is fairly involved, and thus I wouldn’t want that being done synchronously on receipt of each of these events (nevermind on a batch of 25 events). Therefore, this architecture creates a very simple API that just worries about storing the raw data. Clients either get the format of that data right or they don’t, which is about the only error they can get from the API. Then later, we process these events (which is more time consuming).

You Know “Flowing all this, what is actually going on when we believe reality is weird? After all”

Written by Indexde